“Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction” (Proverbs 19:18, NKJV).
It is a shame to see parents not know how to raise kids, especially those who are convinced they do know how to raise children. The evidence in is the pudding, as they say.
Some parents want to be “best friends” more than they want to develop the young person into a productive mature adult. Evidently, they think that if he or she is a best friend, then the child or children will better respond to them, only to learn the child’s mind is being formed to think, then think with a moral standard, then think with a moral standard that has to be applied, and with all this to learn there are consequences with behavior that fails to live up to what is learned.
“The glory of young men is their strength, and the splendor of old men is their gray hairs” (20:29).
Strength and vigor are the blessings associated with young people; wisdom is not generally part of this these two qualities, though it is being learned. On the other hand, with older people, their strength and vigor wanes, but through the years their wisdom piles up because of the many experiences.
Parents are to be parents; that is, they are to teach and insist the child learns. Let the consequences have “teeth” if and/or when the child fails to live what is learned. On the other hand, do not let the consequences be such the child rebels to the point of rejecting the parents’ wisdom and love.
Yelling, berating, constant criticism are not virtuous qualities in raising children. Always counter-productive. “They never listen and are always in trouble!” This may be, but they got to this point, how? Parents play more of a role in this than they want to think they do. The evidence of this is in the response of the child / children to the parents.